Ex-CIA agent blows whistle on secret holiday camps

A former CIA operative has blown the lid off a global network of secret US government holiday camps. Speaking anonymously to newspaper reporters, the former agent revealed that these camps are scattered throughout the globe, in countries allied to America’s war on terror and other participating nations.

Suspects are said to be flown to a number of exotic locations where they are holed up in luxury hotels, fenced off from the local population and deprived of any contact with the outside world except for ludicrously priced coach excursions, where they are forced to buy poorly-made trinkets at grossly inflated prices.

Scandalously, ‘Agent Ex’, as the whistle-bower is known, has also alleged that the United Kingdom is a willing partner in this scheme and that the British government has given its full support by building a compound at a top-secret location somewhere between Rhyl and Prestatyn.

‘At this camp, internees are subjected to an array of humiliating and disorientating practices, such as knobbly knees competitions and glamorous granny pageants. Their children are herded together by a sinister figure dressed in a badly fitting animal suit called the ‘childminder’, who compels them to build small castle-like structures out of sand as some kind of forced labour.’

He also maintains that other European countries are in on the act, with people between the ages of 18 and 30 being spirited off to Spain, Greece and Southern Cyprus, where they are tortured by sunburn, alcohol poisoning and sexually transmitted diseases – a revelation that has prompted thousands of British would-be terrorists to hand themselves in at local police stations.

(Written 22 Apr 2009)

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